So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize