she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
