i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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