i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
