Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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