I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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