Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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