nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
