im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
