i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
