so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
