Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize