I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
