That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
