Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
