just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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