I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
