There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Success! We fucked roommates!
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