it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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