She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Are we still banned from the library?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
