I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
