Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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