There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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