Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
