I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
