My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize