Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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