Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
