a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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