Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
