Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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