you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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