my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think my moral compass just broke
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
