if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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