the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize