I'm really into asian looking animals
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
