I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
