Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
