I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
