i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
