He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
