OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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