that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
