if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
