I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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