I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
