butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
