Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
