think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think my moral compass just broke
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