my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
