Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
