That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
