I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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