I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
