you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
