I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize