Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize