Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
