I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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