JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
