I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
