How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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